she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
