I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
