Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
