Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
