4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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