I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
