there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like abortions should bother me more
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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