Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
is wine microwaveable?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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