I accidentally had phone sex last night
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
