U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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