This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
