Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
