After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
