i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
