Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
