Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
