i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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