I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
