I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
