you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
