Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
