Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
