i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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