his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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