my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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