Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
