I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
