NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
