omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
