I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
