He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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