I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
