so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
