why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
