What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
