like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
