Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
