is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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