talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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