saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
