3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
