Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
