Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
