No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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