Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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