Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
