In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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