Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
