morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
