the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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